All We Need is Love

Today I wanted to share an excerpt from my prayer and devotion journal from February 23, 2011. It was the day after a St. Petersburg police officer was killed by a 16 year old boy. I was reminded of this journal entry today in church as our pastor spoke about how deeply and unconditionally we are loved by God. That message, along with this journal entry is so timely given all of stories we’ve been reading about in the news.

My bible reading on that day was from Exodus 20:20. “Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. God has come to test you so that that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning”.

I wrote in my journal:

“This passage is so timely given the shooting yesterday of another officer. I was listening to a talk radio show and a lot of people were commenting on how no one has the fear of God in them anymore. But what I think and what I prayed for is for people to know the LOVE of God. Love comes first; the “fear” comes from not wanting to disappoint the person who loves you. If you know that someone loves you so unconditionally, you don’t want to do bad things. You don’t want to disappoint them. Think of the parent of a newborn. They love their child first and foremost; they don’t scare the baby or make it fear them. Parents teach their children by loving them. It is through that love that grows respect. I remember the times in high school when I skipped school. When I got home I was so afraid to face my Dad. I wasn’t afraid of my father, but I was afraid that I had disappointed him. Disappointed the man who loved me so much he would do anything for me. So when I hear “put the fear of God in you” I think it should be the “love of God”. If more people knew the love of God, we would not have these shootings.”

I wrote that almost 4 years ago but it still applies today. We are reading horrific stories every day. Terrorist attacks, school shootings, and in my local news, a father throwing his five year old daughter off a bridge, to her death. We can only wonder what is going through their minds when these people commit these terrible crimes. One thing I do know, there was no love. And the very sad thing is that all of them were loved, unconditionally.

What would our world be like if we all understood the depth of God’s love for us? What would happen if we loved each other as God loved us? Would we have shootings, hate crimes, terrorist attacks?

Maybe

Maybe not

A much quoted passage from the Bible is 1Corinthians 13.  

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love endures through every circumstance.

EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE

 

You are dearly loved by God. Share that love.

AMAZING!

1/5/15 - This was what I wrote in my journal today:

Today is a day of firsts.

First week of the new year

First week with my new boss

First journal entry of the year

First step into my year of being AMAZING!

 As was the case with “Do Something” I was inspired again this year by an inspirational email I received. I receive a slew of daily motivational and inspirational emails. Some are Bible based like my daily devotionals. Some are motivating and on a more professional level. Others are just for fun. I don’t read all of them every day but I always at least look at the subject line. The email that got my attention and inspired my focus for this year was simply titled, “Be Amazing”. It was from Susan Goodman; speaker, life coach and author of the book Pursue Possibilities. She is a regular speaker at my company’s women’s professional network and is probably the most positive person you will ever meet.  Here’s an excerpt from the email I received on January 2, 2015:

 “This is it.  This is our year to Be Amazing like we know we can be.  Amazing like we were meant to be. Bold, confident, excited, fully engaged and believing for the best even when we can't see how that will happen.

The first step in having an amazing year is being willing to be amazing yourself.  It's a big step and few of us really want to take it but if we all do it together, we have back-up for when the going gets rough and we want to shrink back to "normal".  Mediocre.  Safe. “

I read that I and just knew that this year, I want to be amazing! How do I propose that I will be amazing? I haven’t quite figured that out yet. I have a lot of ideas. I thought I would just start each day first, giving thanks and praise to God and then ask myself how I can be amazing. So as I got up this morning and was getting ready for work I thought about how I could be amazing today. Two things came to mind.

1.      Start a project to do something good. Something small. Something that would not take much effort or cost. Something that I could accomplish in a short period of time. (Remember that Do Something idea?).

2.      Get active and encourage someone to join you. That idea was actually inspired by a Facebook post I saw over the weekend.

To address the first idea I sent an email to some coworkers and friends telling them that I am collecting gently used coats, blankets, and other winter gear for a local homeless “tent city”. I actually drafted the email before Christmas but never sent it. I worried how it would be received; what people would think of me. Not sending it would be “safe”. But “safe” is not amazing. So I sent it! The email got great response and several people have already committed to bringing in items for the shelter. Hopefully there will be more on that in a future post.

Regarding the second thought, I had purchased a pair of walking shoes over the weekend and had planned on getting out of the office and away from my desk during lunch. We have a beautiful walking path around a lake at my professional complex. I used to walk it every day but had gotten out of the habit. I thought it would be good to have a walking buddy to keep me accountable then I thought, “Who can I help to inspire and keep accountable”. I remembered a coworker that I ran into before Christmas. She told me she is trying to lose weight for a big cruise she and her husband are taking over the summer. I called her and lo and behold, she had brought her walking shoes with her to work! We took a brisk 30 minute walk and plan to walk at least 3 days during the week, if not more.

Now that was amazing! Sometimes, just a little shift in your mindset, in your attitude, will make such a difference in the outcome of your day. And it felt Amazing! I can’t wait to see what this amazing year will bring. Want to be amazing with me? I encourage you to start every day, first with praise and thanks and then with one word……..AMAZING! Lets see where that will take us. Stay tuned.

One Person

“It all begins with just one person. One person who sees a need and is inspired to do something about it.”

That was a line from the Thank You card that I received from the Ronald McDonald House.

A few months ago, a group of friends, my husband Jeff and I served a meal at our local Ronald McDonald House. I have wanted to do that for some time. I have served there before as part of a group, but I’ve never organized my own group. It was a great experience. It was fun to spend time working together with my friends. It felt so good to provide a hearty meal to the families staying at the house. I had to tell the world how good it felt.

I immediately posted pictures on Facebook of our group. I also posted pictures of my chicken stocked fridge. I started to think about what I would write about in my blog. I was so eager to tell the world what I was doing. I am a good person. Look at me world, I am doing good things.

Then I received a thank you card from the families. And I stopped the Facebook posting. I stopped thinking about this blog. I stopped and thought, “This is not about me”.

I was taught at a very young age that you should always work to help others. I learned by the example of my mom. Mom was always doing something for other people; baking cookies or making a casserole for the family down the street, or working with her beloved “Treasure Islettes”, a women's service organization. Even today, at 84 years old, Mom spends 2 to 3 days a week doing volunteer work at her church and with St. Vincent De Paul. I inherited my giving heart from her. My mom never boasted about the good she was doing. It was just what she did, who she was.

I was talking to my mom a few days after we served the meal and she told me how much she used to love doing that with the Islettes. “Those families were so appreciative. It just made me feel so good knowing that I was doing something nice for them.” That’s all that mattered to my mom; that she felt good to help others. She didn’t need anyone’s approval or “Comments” or “Likes” to feel good.

Social media has taken over the world and it has certainly benefitted many a cause by raising awareness and funding. It is a great thing and I applaud those who have used it to their benefit, but I have come to discover that it is not who I am.

When I started my blog, I had dreams of taking the social media world by storm. I wanted to take my desire to help people and share it with others; encourage people to volunteer their time, get involved with charities. I had hoped to organize various events and get others to join – clothing drives, bake sales, etc. I was going to create a Facebook page and share my vision. I created a Twitter account and was tweeting away, trying to build a following. Then I realized that I stopped doing what I love to do. I stopped helping others, I was just focused on posting and tweeting and reading articles and finding ways to “go public”. I got wrapped up in the social media storm and in doing so, lost sight of what really matters to me. What matters to me is not for people to know that I am doing good things. What matters to me is not “Likes” or "Comments" or "Retweets".  What matters to me is that I have done something today and each and every day to be a blessing to someone, to make their day better, to share a smile or kind word, to lend a helping hand.

I am just one person and, as was printed in that thank you card, “it all begins with one person”. I am one person who inherited a giving heart. I am one person who doesn’t have to tell the world what I am doing. I am one person who has always let her kind words, friendly smile and loving actions speak for her. I am one person who may not have the time, the means or the knowledge to take the world by storm. But I am one person with a big heart and I will always let that heart lead me to help others. One person is all it takes and one person is all I'll be.

 

 

Ten Ways to Make Someone Happy (including yourself)

What is the secret to true happiness? Have you ever thought about that? What is it about some people that make them so darned happy? How can some people can be happy despite the trials and tribulations of life? Conversely, why is it that some people are never happy?

 

For me, the secret of being happy lies not in me but in others. I think to be truly happy you have to look outward.  You have to make others happy. I hope that I do that through my writing and I also try to do that in my daily life. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely have plenty of days when I struggle to be happy. Sometimes the stresses of my life really get me down and I find it difficult to “put on a happy face”. But on those days, I find that if I do just the simplest act of kindness, my mood starts to lift upward.

 

The story below comes from a website called Propel Steps. I’m not sure of the original author but it really echoes what I truly feel - that our own happiness lies in making others happy.

 

Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

 

Now these delegates were left in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos. At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.

 

Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

 

The speaker began— Exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness.

   

I’ve listed a few of my favorite ideas for spreading happiness and making others smile.

 

1.    Smile at everyone you pass. Smiling is euphoric. Go ahead, smile. You feel good when you do. Smiling is not only euphoric, it’s contagious. When you smile at someone, it’s really hard for them not to smile back. Maybe the person you smiled at was having a bad day. Maybe your smile helped to turn that day around. Perhaps that person then smiled at someone else and made their day. You can see where this is going.

2.   Let someone in front of you in traffic. This is a hard one for me. I really get irritated at those people who seemingly do not know how to merge. But, you never know who might be behind the wheel. Maybe it is a new teen driver, getting on the interstate for the first time. Or maybe it’s a timid elderly woman who doesn’t normally drive herself. Perhaps it’s a really aggressive driver who would have cut you off if you didn’t let them in. Just slow down, let them in, and smile because you did.

3.    When you’re at the mall or entering an office building, stop and hold the door for the person coming in behind you, even if they are several steps behind you. Hopefully they will smile at your gesture of kindness and thank you. If not, wish them a happy day anyway.

4.    Greet every person who steps in the elevator with you. Wish them all a great day as you leave.

5.    Take the time to learn someone’s name and remember it the next time you see them. Have a favorite server at the coffee shop or cashier at the market? Notice their nametag and call them by name. Jot it down so you can remember it next time you see them and greet them by name. I use the Notes app on my phone for this.

6.    Make conversation with your favorite server, cashier, clerk at the dry cleaners, etc. Learn something about them. Did they just have a baby? Are they planning a vacation? Ask them about it the next time you see them. (After you call them by name - see #5 above)

7.       Be a really good friend. Know someone who is going through a tough time? Spend some time with them. Ask them how they’re doing and really listen. Don’t go on about your problems, listen to theirs. Give them a hug, let them know you care. Even if they don’t feel like talking, sit with them in silence. Just be there.

8.    Send someone a handwritten thank you note. I always keep a stash of note cards handy. You can get some really cute ones in the dollar bins at a certain craft store. Whenever someone has done something nice for me or for my family I try to write them a note letting them know how much I appreciated it. I was taught as a child to always write thank you notes and I really think it is a lost art. Let’s bring them back!

9.    Buy a bouquet of flowers at the grocery store and pass out individual flowers to people who might need a day brightener – the exhausted mom with the screaming toddler, the frazzled cashier who just encountered a grumpy customer. I haven’t tried this one yet but I just thought of it as I was writing these. And it made me smile!

10.  Jot down your own ideas to be kind and make others smile. As was the case in # 9 above, just doing so makes you happy.

So today, I encourage you to go out and make someone happy. You’ll be happy you did!

 

"I began learning long ago that those who are happiest are those who do the most for others" – Booker T. Washington

Hurricane Taylor

This is the first in a series of stories in honor of the decade of Taylor.

We will be celebrating our daughter Taylor’s 10^th birthday soon. I’ve been doing a lot of reminiscing lately, as is usually the case when you approach a milestone in life. Since Taylor’s first few years of life were rather chaotic, I never kept up her baby book. I had a box of good intentions – the book, pictures, and various and sundry notes jotted down on ragged and torn sheets of paper. I had hoped to transfer them to the book on some peaceful night when I had a few moments. Those moments never came. I was looking through that box the other night and the memories came flooding back (quite an interesting analogy considering the meteorological events that surrounded her birth).

2004 was one of the most active hurricane seasons in the Tampa Bay area. It was also the year our daughter Taylor was born. Little did I know that weathering those storms was preparing me and teaching me valuable lessons for handling what life with Taylor would bring.

I was 8 months pregnant when the first storm hit. Hurricane Charley was one of the worst storms to hit Florida in many years. It made landfall a little south of us and plowed through the center of the state. It was Friday, August 13^th. We were without power for 5 days following Charley. Being 8 months pregnant and without power in August does not make a happy momma to be. I did my best to endure the heat but finally, late in the afternoon of the 5^th day, I broke down. I cried that dramatic, emotional cry that hormonal pregnant women cry. I told my husband that I couldn’t take another night of this. As we packed a bag and prepared to leave our home for the comfort of an air conditioned hotel room, the power came on.  

First life lesson of the hurricane season - Just when you’re about to give up hope, hang on a little longer; it will get better.

Frances was the next storm to come our way, about a week before Taylor was born. Wind and rain were the only effects of Frances for us, but just as soon as Frances passed us, we started to track Ivan.

Second life lesson of the hurricane season - Just when you think the storm has passed, there’s usually another one approaching.

Ivan was on a direct path for our area and was predicted to make landfall on September 13^th, Taylor’s due date.

The phone call arrived about 10 AM on Friday September 10^th. I was at work. Like most working mommas, whether it is at home or in an office, I was determined to keep at it until the very last minute. The call was from my doctor’s office and it was short and sweet. “Be at the hospital at 6:00 tomorrow morning, we’re going to induce labor.” It turns out the hospital was located in the direct path that Ivan was projected to take. The doctor was scheduling all of the moms with due dates that week to be induced over the weekend. By noon, I had wrapped up all loose ends at work, said my farewells to my friends and headed to Walmart. I was going to have a baby in less than 24 hours and would be leaving the hospital a day before a direct hit of a category 4 hurricane. I NEEDED SUPPLIES!

The next day, September 11, 2004, Taylor was born. We called her our “little terrorist”. We had no idea how appropriate that nickname would be.

Hurricane Ivan ended going straight up the Gulf and into the Florida Panhandle, completely missing us.

Third life lesson of the hurricane season - Do not worry for God is in control.

There were two more storms that year, Frances & Jeanne. But it wasn’t until a couple of months after Taylor was born that the real storms hit.

Taylor’s first few weeks of life were rather normal for most infants. There was a lot of crying and fussing and very little sleep to be had by anyone in our house. By her one month checkup the crying and fussing hadn’t ceased and she rarely slept for more than an hour at a time, even at night. The doctor called it colic. I had a nagging feeling that something wasn’t normal. I had two other children, I knew what to expect. Taylor wasn’t ever very happy. She didn’t smile and never really made eye contact. She appeared to be looking past me, not at me. The doctor gave me the typical “give it time, all babies develop differently”, but I knew otherwise.

Our first few years with Taylor were consumed with doctors, tests, hospital stays and procedures. She had numerous health issues. By the time Taylor reached her first birthday, she was already seeing an Urologist, Cardiologist, Otolaryngologist (ENT), and a Neurologist. We were also consulting with a Geneticist. Besides treating all of her health problems, we were desperately seeking an elusive diagnosis. To me a diagnosis meant answers, support, and hope. If I could just find a name for what was causing all of her issues, wouldn’t it provide comfort? Wouldn’t it help me deal with what we were going through? Ten years later and still no official diagnosis, I can tell you the answer is a resounding “No!” What I know now and what I came to realize after many years of a futile search for answers is that comfort, peace, and hope do not come from answers, they come from acceptance. They come when you stop trying to find answers, stop trying to find something (or someone) to blame, stop searching for reasons; when you start living your life with your precious gift.

A gift - that is what Taylor is; a gift from God. We’ve been told before that we were chosen for Taylor; that she is blessed to have us as her parents. I don’t buy that at all. I say that my husband and I are the blessed ones. Taylor was chosen for us, not the other way around. We needed Taylor in our lives.

Looking back, I am amazed at how much my life has changed and how I have changed, all for the better.

Final life lesson of the hurricane season - Storms may cause damage, darkness, despair but storms pass and are usually followed by rainbows; the most beautiful of God’s creations.

An Angel in Ink

They say that angels are all around us. I’ve always believed that to be true. They never quite look like angels, although I can’t really say that I know what an angel should look like. Based on my most recent sighting, angels have tattoos.

I received a text last Wednesday from April H., the director at Taylor’s daycare (I’m using initials as you will soon see that there are two April’s in this story). We had just taken Taylor for an MRI. She required sedation so it was a stressful and draining morning. As I was leaving after the procedure, I saw the text, “Left you a message. Call me when you get a chance”. Normally when I get calls or texts from daycare, panic mode sets in. But Taylor was with us, it couldn’t have been an emergency. Relieved, I gave April a call and she proceeded to tell me that a woman from a local salon wanted to do a fundraiser at the daycare. They would give haircuts for a donation and would give all the money raised to the school. A win-win; daycare receives money to donate to a charity and the salon gets some free advertising! Of course, April immediately thought of Taylor and our involvement with Livy’s Hope. We scheduled the event for the next week, put up some flyers; all proceeds would be donated to the Livy’s Hope fund at the Epilepsy Foundation.

April H. gave me all of the information to contact the woman, April M. She is the assistant manager at the Hair Cuttery, a local salon. Ironically, it is the place my husband, Taylor and I have been getting our hair cut for years. I decided to stop by with Taylor on Saturday to meet April M. We had only communicated by email and I wanted to meet her in person and find out a little more about what she had planned.

Taylor and April - fast friends

I’m not sure what I had expected April M to look like, but I will admit I was a bit surprised when she came out to meet us. She is very young, perhaps late 20’s and has numerous tattoos covering her body. If I had any preconceived notions about what someone fitting that description should be like, they were immediately set aside. April M. was the most beautiful and loving soul. I know that because Taylor immediately gravitated to her.

 

My husband and I always say that Taylor senses good people. I think because her brain works differently than others’, she uses her heart to sense genuineness. And she knew that April M. was a friend.

We sat and chatted with April for about 30 minutes, talking about the fundraiser, but mostly talking about Taylor. April was enamored with Taylor. She commented several times how happy Taylor made her feel, how she just loved Taylor’s smile. Taylor has that effect on people.

April asked about Taylor’s seizures and if we were able to tell when they would happen. She asked so many questions, sometimes I sensed that April was a bit unsure, not knowing the right terminology to use. I appreciated April’s candor and genuine interest in knowing about Taylor.

We left the salon, and I was sure that we had met an angel.

Then came the day of the fundraiser. I was working and could not attend, but Jeff was off with Taylor and was able to take her. Jeff met April and also her 8 year old daughter. She was kind and genuine, just like her mom.

Taylor and April at the fundraiser

The event raised over $400 for the Epilepsy Foundation, a testament to the wonderful staff and family at Taylor’s daycare. I am so incredibly grateful to both Aprils in the story and I am so blessed to have met April M and gotten to know her. I know that Taylor and I have made a new friend.

Remember, when you see a person who looks different, maybe covered in tattoos or piercings, don’t misjudge them. At the very least, they are just like you or me. But quite possibly, they could be an angel.

Make That Change!

A motto in life that I have tried to follow and try to encourage others to follow is this: “if you don’t like it, change it”. In other words, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Often we put off making changes in our lives because we feel that we can’t. Maybe we feel that we can’t give 100% effort or maybe we don’t think we have the knowledge or the right skills to do something. But you don’t have to wait until all the right pieces are in place to get started. Start small, learn as you go, but just start.

 

There is a Chinese Proverb that says, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”.

 

If there is anything in your life that you are not happy with, you have the power to make changes to make it better. You are a powerful force! In my first blog post, I mentioned that I sent myself an email that just said “Do Something”. The point of that email was to get me out of a funk that I was in. I had just changed jobs and I wasn’t terribly satisfied. My husband and I were dealing with numerous issues with our daughter Taylor. She had spent months in the hospital, we were stressed and life just wasn’t great. I was in a really bad place and feeling rather sorry for myself. As I wallowed in my self-pity I remembered that I hate to wallow in my self-pity. I really do try to stay positive and feeling sorry for myself was not helping me do that. I knew that I had to stop focusing on my own problems. I wanted to turn my focus toward others. Do more to help others. That was the change that I needed in my life.

 Here are a few ways that I have made changes in my life to turn my focus away from myself and toward others:

           

·         I started writing this blog. I love to write. It makes me feel good. Through this blog I hope to share words of encouragement and to also share ideas for getting involved in charities; turning your focus outward.

·         I got involved with Livy’sHope. Taylor and I have made some wonderful new friends and we have been able to show kindness, give hope and help other families through the Kids Crew.

·         I am devoting more time to other charities like Ronald McDonald House , Feeding America and No Kid Hungry.

·         I pray more. I read Bible devotionals related to living a joyful life. I thank God every day for the blessed life that I have and I thank Him for the challenges I face too. It’s those challenges that make me stronger and even more grateful for the good times.

 

Amazing things happen when you turn your focus from inward to outward:

1. You forget your problems
2.  Someone else benefits
3. You start to feel really good

 In these past several months I have had a new attitude. I smile more. I’m happy! I don’t let the little frustrations in life get me down. Sure, I have my days when the pity party tries to creep back in. But in those times, I really do try to turn it around. Remind myself that life is good. Pray.

So if you find yourself in a rut, in a bad place or just not happy with the way things have been going. I challenge you to take that first step, do something about the way you feel, make a change in your life. Do something, anything. You’ll be glad you did.

 

In the words of the late Michael Jackson, “Make that change”